A Loooooooooong Overdue Update

For 5 weeks I’ve been at training “Institute” for my new job through Teach for America. Going into it, I was hoping I would be able to stop, think and update people on what’s been going on. Well, here we are, 5 weeks later and this is my first real update… Better late than never though, right?

Going into this training, I knew it was going to be hard, I knew there were going to be long hours, I knew there would be a few breakdowns along the way. I did not know that at the end of each day I’d look at my phone, want to call friends and family, but be totally out of words. So here’s my attempt to recap everything that’s been going on.

After I left San Francisco, I went to Detroit for about 5 days. It was a short induction to TFA, Detroit and the people I’d be spending the next few years with. Going into it I was terrified. Honestly, I had no idea if leaving my whole life back in SF would be worth it. I’ve wanted to teach for as long as I can remember, but was this the right way? Luckily, once I got to Detroit, things moved so fast I didn’t really have time to allow myself to get sad.

There are about 100 people in my corps group from all over the US. Meeting them all was a little insane and it doesn’t help that I have the memory of a gnat and can never remember names… but these people are incredible. I am so amazed with the amount of drive and passion I keep seeing from them and it’s easy to feel motivated working with a group like this.

Once we completed Induction, we left for Chicago to start Institute. I’ve heard all the stories, but it wasn’t until I got there I could truly understand what it was all about. A normal day starts at 5:30. Get up, get ready, teach summer school, attend trainings, grab dinner, attend more sessions/trainings, plan lessons, prepare for the next day, go to bed between 12-3am. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat… I also live in dorms, on tiny, slippery “beds”, share 2×2 ft showers and eat dorm food. But it’s free, so I can’t complain, that much ☺ .

Teaching summer school has been a trip. I’m teaching 3rd grade to students who either need to retake their standardized test or missed too much school and need to pass into 4th grade. I am a part of a group of 5 who teach the class, each taking turns on different subjects. I don’t think anyone could have said or done anything to prepare me for what I was about to experience. 26 students. 26 opportunities. 26 chances to teach them as much as we can while they teach me about who I am as a teacher. These kids are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and they’re only 9-10 years old. They range with abilities from pre-k level to 8th grade. There are definitely days when I think about how fast I could push out the window on the left side of the room and run as far as I can, but then I get over it. I’ve never been at a job that I’ve been so frustrated, so excited, so confused and loved so much. I’ve had to change lesson plans in the middle of class, I’ve had to literally chase down parents, I’ve had to explain the differences between “I” and “eye” for 30 min and I’ve had to look up words that I’m not even sure if I know what the definition is that my students use. It’s insane, and it’s rad. Here are a few students they have really made an impression on me:

Student 1 – 8 years old. The first thing I asked him was “What are you proud of?” His response was he loves to read and help people learn. After i tested him, i learned that he’s at a pre-k/k level for reading and math. When he writes, it looks like this: OMELOTEMEALOMLETOMEOMLETTOMDE. He only knows about 6 letters. But when you talk to him, he’s incredible. He told me that his teachers and family tell him he’s stupid, but he knows he can learn and when people get you down, you just have to hold your head up high. One day, he shared with me that he’s living with his dad because his mom went after his dad with a knife and is in jail. He doesn’t like living with his dad though because he’s “emotionally abusive” He also is the big brother so he needs to look after his siblings and make sure they don’t get sad. He’s 8. After hearing this I just kinda broke down, like i have no idea what to even do. Luckily i have a great advisor and we started thinking of a plan, but it’s heartbreaking that this is his reality and he is still so strong.

Student 2 – He may be smarter than me. His dream is to be a botanist and study “carnivorous plants”. (I had to look up how to spell carnivorous). He spends his time drawing batman and Venus flytraps. He reads at at least an 8th grade level (that’s the highest we could test him). He’s in summer school because when he takes tests, his mind goes blank. I can relate… He also loves Etta James and loves to tell Julia Roberts jokes. There’s another side to him as well. He wants attention more than anyone I’ve ever met and he’s tired of just getting passed on from person to person, family to family. Because of this, it’s a constant struggle to get him to concentrate and to stop just screaming out anything and everything. Last week in the middle of a lesson he fell to the floor and started swinging his arms. When I asked what he was doing, he simply responded, “I want to know what it’s like to be a paraplegic and not have the use of his legs”. What do you even say to that?!

Student 3 – He’s quiet, but he also if the most polite kid I’ve ever met. He carries my books (he offered!) and opens doors for us. He studies words all day and wants to “see everyone in the class be a leader”.

Student 4 – She spends all day drawing Michael Jackson. She’s great at math, but is reading at a first grade level. She’s always the first to get up without asking and help as many people in the class. I don’t think I’ve heard her say more than 3 words. She’s also taller than I am and 9 years old…

Student 5 – His favorite music is Lady Gaga. His hero is his girlfriend who “is the best thing that’s ever come into his life”. He also carries a pocket sized US Constitution with him and reads it all the time. He’s also 9.

As far as the trainings have been going, it’s interesting to say the least. A lot of times it’s frustrating, like we never really know what’s going on. It also feels like ever second of every day is planned out for us. At the same time, it’s a program that is supposed to take each of us and prepare us to be the ones responsible for people’s lives. This job is not a joke. It’s not like we can just mess up and start over the next day. These are people’s lives and futures we’re dealing with so it’s understandable that every action we do is a big deal.

This upcoming week is our last week of Institute. I’d like to say it’s flown by, but I feel like I’ve been here forever. I don’t want to leave my students. Like I was terrified to leave SF, I’m now terrified to leave my class and just hope that they keep with them all the things we’ve attempted to teach in such a short amount of time.

In other life updates, I got hired at a school where I’ll be teaching 3rd or 4th grade. This weekend I also found a beautiful house to live in with 3 other TFA people. After institute I get to spend some time with Team Trummer and have a mini Cape Town reunion as we convince more and more people to move to the Midwest. I’m still not sure when I’ll get to go back and visit people since I start teaching on August 9th, but I hope it’s soon.

So after all of this has happened, and I look back on how these past 5 weeks have shaped me, I’m confident this is what I should be doing. I love this. For the first time in my life, I’m in a job that I can work almost 20 hours a day and still be just as excited and passionate about it as when I started my day. It’s hard, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m happy. I’m grateful to be among such supportive and inspiring people. And in no time, I’ll be back in Detroit, and I could not be more excited to get there and settled finally.

For all of my non-TFA friends and family: I miss you more than you know. Please know I’m thinking of you even if I’m not always able to pick up the phone and call, or write an update. I hope all is well!

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